Apologies in advance, I was unable to record this week due to time… hopefully I will get back on track with that next week!
Ahhhhh… May was supposed to be significantly better than April (astrologically speaking) and if I had to put my finger on why that might be true for me, it was at least because it has flown by!!! But also, May does seem to have been pivotal in a lot of ways. Whereas my goal for April was just to survive it at all, my hope for May was to gain some clarity and energy and I’m happy to say I’’m gaining momentum on both counts. I may not know precisely what I’m doing yet, but for the first time in a long time, I am feeling a strong sense of faith and very little fear (thank you my friend, for my new pink hat with the words “Faith over Fear” to remind me!!)
Now that May is almost over, I’m realizing I may not give a F*ck about some things I thought I did; that I’m ready to take on some things I wondered if I’d ever have the energy for again; and I’m taking steps toward fulfilling a dream I thought might never come to fruition.
But the number one most important thing I have realized is how important it is for me to spend time in nature. I’ve truly been craving it for quite awhile. I started walking around my neighborhood a couple weeks ago, just for 20 minutes or so, and my incentive is that so many people have rock landscapes instead of lawns, so I pick a couple up here and there, pretending like I’m on a beach walking in the sand while rock hunting.
Little did I know how grateful I’d be that I started walking because I’ve had the opportunity to spend a good part of the last several days, as well as the next few days, in the middle of the forest and it has been EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I’ve been feeling a call to spend time in nature, so I thought my neighborhood walks were somewhat sufficing, along with a few visits to nature preserve type parks, but NOPE…being immersed in the magical energy of a forest is incomparable. I’ve hiked at least 20 miles so far and also spent a lot of time along a creek with fast flowing water from the snow melting in the mountains. To be honest, it’s pretty similar to what I imagine heaven to be like!
It’s also nice being able to be transported to and dropped off deep into the woods via an all terrain vehicle that I also don’t have to be the driver of!
Being a city girl, I also had the first time wild experience of going to a cattle auction. I’d never even considered that such a thing existed. The people we accompanied buy 100 cows every spring to graze on their land for 5-6 months and then they take them back to auction them off significantly fatter!
Every single cow sold over the course of what felt like forever, and afterward our hosts went and got their truck and trailer and pulled it around to load up the two cows they bid on.
Now comes the most interesting part of all. We drove back to the property somewhere around where they said their other cattle were grazing. They opened the trailer and both cows were laying down, but they stood up and ventured off and understandably looked pretty happy to discover their new home with plenty of green grass for grazing. I saw no other cows in sight. However, just after I took this picture below, way off to the far left not pictured… cows started heading over toward the new cows.
I wish I would have realized what was happening sooner than I did, because I was absolutely mind blown to realize the cows really were coming to accept the new cows into their herd (albeit it’s a herd that is still growing by 4-6 cows per week). I asked the ranch owners if this is always what happens and they said “every time”. Below is the video I took, which doesn’t even give the experience justice, because the cows came from very deep in the woods… but they somehow knew immediately that new cows had arrived and they headed right over.
Can you even imagine if people were this way??? I mean, have you ever shown up somewhere new, where you didn’t know a single soul, and they hadn’t known you were coming, and everyone came running over to make you feel welcome?
I also have done a significant amount of socializing which I’m not a huge fan of, but it’s been a constant flow of people in and out so it has kept things interesting. However, the most interesting person I have met so far is a woman who I think said she was 36 years old. She is in a wheelchair and she talks very loud and quite excitably. She had a stroke a year and a half ago and was in a coma for a month. The doctors told her family there was a 50-50 chance as to if she would die or not, but that if she lived she would be a vegetable.
She lived, and she isn’t a vegetable. Her mind is sharp as a whip. It is a little challenging to understand her, but she says she makes sure she practices talking 2-3 hours a day. She is in a wheelchair and needs help doing everything.
I talked to her quite a bit about her experience. She could hear everything that was going on during her coma and knew every single person that came to visit her. But also, she visited with people who had passed away, as well. Her father had died a month prior, and she spent a lot of time with him during her coma. I asked her if doing so was just like her and I sitting next to each other talking, and she said no, it was the energy of him and they had a lot of conversations without words. He told her it wasn’t her time yet and she was going to have to go back. He said he would be protecting her even though he was on the other side. She also talked to her grandparents who had passed. She also saw her brother’s dog and he licked her on her face.
When she finally came to, she asked him how his dog was and he said fine. And she said is he really? and he said, well actually, he died. And she said I knew it, because I saw him when I was in my coma and he licked my face!
Her enthusiasm for life is off the charts. One day she was completely healthy and now she is extremely limited in her physicality but her heart is incredible. I think her energy activated my own. She remembers EVERYONE’s name and every time she sees me she tells me how awesome I am and how much she loves me… and I’ve known her one day. She does this with everyone. Her heart chakra is vibrating at such a high frequency, I can feel it in my body… as though it is literally buzzing by being near her. She loves to talk, but if no one is around to talk to, or if we were in meetings needing to listen, she sat quietly in her chair for however long was necessary, beyond content as though she was in a meditative state. I told her I want my heart to open as much as hers, but minus the stroke.
I believe the forest has really energized me because normally I would be so drained having to have met with and conversed with the number of people I have and instead I feel very peaceful. I do believe the forest is calling me to visit more often. I came across the above heart rock on my hike. If it hadn’t been so far (and up a hill) back to the four wheelers, I would have absolutely wiggled it out of the dirt and took it with me. Interestingly, I’ve had 3 rocks with me that I painted hearts on. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them, but I gave one to my friend who is visiting from Michigan and here in Colorado to acquire property, and I decided I wanted to put one somewhere out in the woods, and the other one I really loved as it was a heart shaped rock that I had painted a giant teal blue heart in the middle of. It was going to have to go somewhere really special, because I just couldn’t part with it. But after I met this lovely young woman, I went to my car and got it out to give it to her. You would think I had given her the world. I saw her off and on over the course of the day, and she mentioned the heart rock on at least 3 occasions.
Part of the reason I came back to the small town I’d lived in for most of the prior seven years (while currently seeing if I should give city life another try), was to celebrate my baby girl’s 20th birthday. She is training to be an electrician apprentice and I am so proud of her. I’m also proud of her because she is living with her boyfriend and doing adult things like paying for rent, utilities and groceries…. making and taking her lunch and cooking dinners with her boyfriend. getting herself up and to work by 6:45 every morning and working ten hour days… she takes care of her own medical appointments for her type 1 diabetes and schedules and attends to her own dentist and physical therapy appointments and even scheduled her own carpal tunnel surgery.
If I’m being honest, I’m especially proud of me for getting out of the way and letting her spread her wings. I KNEW in my gut it was absolutely imperative for me to go for her sake and for my own. But also, it was really, Really, REALLY hard for me to pack up and move away and leave her behind. But also, I really, Really, REALLY wanted to go. I needed to go. I needed some space and time to regroup… replenish… soul search… and heal.
So please, if you are feeling like you need to get away in order to heal… follow your gut. Even if it is for an hour a day… where you have uninterrupted time without anyone having access to you… do it!! I know FOR SURE I’m going to be spending a lot more time in the forest!!
As always, I do apologize for any typos and grammar errors I may have missed. I can barely keep my eyes open and I have two and half days left to explore the forest and need to get some sleep!! Thank you so much for being here!!
❤️❤️❤️
This article reminds me to have appreciation and gratitude for the “little things.” Loved the story and video of the cows! Thank you, Michelle 🙏